For the past several months I have been wrestling constant exhaustion and persistent feelings of sadness. I had hoped that my time in the States wold be a time of refreshment and preparation for 2015. Instead, I left the States more exhausted, more spiritually and emotionally wrecked than when I came. Several weeks of intense prayer and tearful conversations with those whose counsel I trust have led me to decide that it is time to pursue next steps in my life.
Effective February 16th, I am stepping down from my responsibilities at MOHI and returning to the States for some spiritual and emotional care. Life in Haiti is unrelentingly harsh and as much as I love it, this isn't the place to be when I'm already struggling. (I want to be very clear about what this is not. This is not about any sort of falling out between myself and MOHI, or the Edmes. I still count them among my dearest friends and have every hope of returning for at least short term visits in the future.)
Frankly, this is one of the scarier decisions I have ever made. All my life, all I've wanted is to live overseas in a ministry setting. I'm not really sure who I am without those things.To those of you who have been so faithful to join with me in prayer over the last few years of cross-cultural adventures, I ask that you would continue in that. I deeply believe that the MOHI clinic is a work of grace and the Spirit, and that as such, it will continue on. That being said, I'm leaving large chunks of my heart behind, with the clinic, with my friends, with a couple of half-grown teenage boys. My head knows that this is the right decision for me, for now. My heart is having a hard time letting go.
